Do you ever find yourself scrolling through Instagram/Facebook and somehow end up stalking some ‘pretty and thin’ persons pictures from 2012 thinking, “man… if I looked like that life would be so much better”? and then proceed to daydream about some skinny, beautiful fairyland where you would be such a better wife, brother, daughter, mother, father, student, teacher [fill in the blank].
Yeah, same here.
Let’s sit here and think about how absolutely flawed this pattern of thinking is.
First, I’m going to say what has been said one hundred million times before… YOU’RE LOOKING AT A HIGHLIGHT REEL. Behind every single human who has lived and ever will live is some 💩. Seriously, behind every “perfect” photo is someone who has gone through something absolutely horrible. They’ve gone to bed crying so hard that no more tears will come. They’ve broken someone’s heart. They’ve had their heart broken. They’ve done things they’ve regretted. They’ve made mistakes that you would never dream of making. All that is part of being a human for ya 💁.
You really just never know a persons story from what they post on social media. Maybe this person is currently doing some 💩 that you would never trade for that ‘beautiful and flawless body’. For example, when I was right in the midst of anorexia, I cannot begin to tell you the number of compliments I received. “Your body is perfect”, “I would do anything for your legs”, “you’re looking SO GOOD”… but guess what? Behind the scenes was a girl who wouldn’t let herself sit still for longer than 30 minutes because she believed that it would slow her metabolism down (which I laugh at today because that thought process was one of thee most ironic things of my life). A girl who would scream at her mother for not letting her get her 3 workouts for the day in. A girl who would cry herself to sleep because she ate a single slice of pizza. A girl who spent the years following hating her body. A girl who still to this day struggles every now and then when she looks in the mirror. She still has to shut down the thoughts in the back of her head telling her she needs to change.
You tell me… does that sound like some skinny, beautiful fairyland where she reached all of her hopes and dreams? If you answered yes, hate to break it to ya, but you’re dead wrong. Life actually SUCKED trying to maintain that ‘perfect body’.
I’m definitely not saying that behind every good looking, thin privileged person is someone who has an eating disorder. Maybe their just living in a society proclaimed ‘beautiful body’, but going through some really crappy times with family, friends, work or school. Or, ya know, maybe that person IS in fact livin’ in skinny, beautiful fairyland where they have amazing relationships, a fun job, beautiful and well-behaved children, a perfectly decorated home with those little succulents & one of those paintings of their family without faces and enough money and time to go on gorgeous road trips every other week.
Don’t mean to break your heart, but maybe that’s just not meant to be your life. And THAT. IS. OK.
Truth is… their beauty and body weight is not what got them to that place. Even if we pretend and say that it was, that is their story. Don’t waste a single second of your life trying to chase down someone else’s story.
You were born into YOUR life, into YOUR body, with all your lil quirks and flaws for a reason. It is your purpose to find that reason. But hint: that reason was not to obtain that perfect bod with the flawless skin and hair and face. Think deeper.
I just came across an oldie but goodie quote the other day:
I love this quote, but I just want to add that even if you don’t find a huge advancement in the medical world, start a nationwide movement, or write a life-changing book… (which I’m gonna assume is 99.99% of us) you are still amazing and worthy and ENOUGH. You are enough just for showing up each day cause life is freakin’ hard, to say in the least.
Next time you realize you’ve scrolled into someone’s beautiful second cousin’s page and that you’ve been belittling every accomplishment of your life because they are stunning and wrote some really nice calligraphy… stop yourself. Remind yourself that you’re on a different journey and that your journey is just as noteworthy.